Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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