okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
