I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
