I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dignity is for republicans.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
