so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
