Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
