Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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