Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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