1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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