hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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