The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
