i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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