whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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