he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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