You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
