Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
