wat bout pragnant strippers??
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
