who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
