woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
