I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Holy shit dude........stairs
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
