do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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