Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
