We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
