You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Randomize
