can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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