there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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