Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
