you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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