i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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