i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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