I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
