if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
