Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize