Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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