marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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