you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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