his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
