Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
