Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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