This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
