How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
