:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i now understand why vodka
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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