I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
