Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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