Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
