She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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