so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
