I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Pooping to opera.
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