I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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