i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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