Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
