I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize