I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
