didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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