biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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