names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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