So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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