These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
