Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
