Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
