Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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