i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
