On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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