Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I am naked and annoyed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
